DECIDING HOW TO DISCIPLINE
YOUR CHILD

You've reconsidered your parental posture and you've taken on some new convictions, but how do you actually apply all this to misbehavior? This chapter provides you with a form, a tool, to use to develop these new patterns of thinking and reacting. Again, I request that you wait to use this tool until you have read and understood the remainder of this book.

Describe the mistake your child has made.

Is this mistake really a problem, or is it just more evidence that you and your child have personality styles that naturally conflict?

If this mistake is really a problem, then proceed with this tool.

But if this conflict is merely more evidence that you and your child naturally clash at times, it's not fair to heap all the blame on your child. Instead, sit down with your child, admit that it's only a personality clash, and decide on ways to cooperate together to cope with your differences in personality styles.

Is this a normal teenage problem? Yes No

If it is, then you should remember not to make giant hassles out of normal teenage problems.

If it's a more serious problem (cursing a parent, passing an obscene note at school, or sneaking out of the house at night), then you should respond to it with the seriousness that it deserves.

Did you make a mistake similar to this one when you were a child?
Yes No

If you did, you need to let your painful memory help you be more reasonably patient with your son or daughter rather than allow the pain of your past to cause you to react unreasonably and too harshly.

You must decide between these two: Is this mistake a result of

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