Encouragement for fair and reasonable parents--
and for those who aspire to be
The misbehaviors of our children do not necessarily indicate that we are failures as parents. Our worth as parents does not hinge on the choices of our children.
We remember that God raised Adam and Eve, and both made bad choices.
Other influences are competing against us for the health and well-being of our children. These influences can include peer pressure, pleasure pressure (the intense desire for euphoria), TV, movies, music, and certain celebrities, among others.
Our children are free moral agents, and they can make their choices independently of our moral standards, just as Adam and Eve chose to ignore God. And that may explain what's happening.
Like God, we must maintain our balance of being understanding and compassionate while demanding respect from our children. We deserve respect. We are the ones who are trying to save our children from damaging themselves morally, spiritually, emotionally, socially, and physically.
Our children absolutely must learn to respond appropriately to authority, or they will be ill-prepared to face the real world when we parents are replaced by employers, driver's licensing officials, insurers, credit managers, university officials, apprenticeship
officials, the Better Business Bureau officials, military officials, police officers, and government agency personnel. We must hold our positions for the sake of our children's futures.
Just as God has never backed off and compromised His values, we should never back off and compromise ours. This faithfulness will keep our children in touch with where to return. We should never compromise ourselves into root rot. Our children desperately need wholesome roots to look back to. So long as our root system is healthy and strong, our kids have something to be tethered to while they explore wrong. If we develop root rot by compromising our own integrity, it severs their tethers.
And yet, we can never forget that we are responsible before God's authority to be fair and reasonable in disciplining our children, to set a proper example before them. Like Christ, we will seek to do the healing things for our children and not discipline them out of avenging hostility.
If we are seeking to heal our children, we are decent parents.
Copyright 1989 by R. A. "Buddy" Scott Allon Publishing www.buddyscott.com