One

THE PRINCIPAL was mad at his new coach. He said in an obnoxiously gruff voice, "It has come to my attention that you--you, sir, a PE teacher--have been trying to counsel students. That is not appropriate. We have professionals for that purpose. So, butt out! Do you understand, Coach Bright? Leave my students alone!"

A few days into the new school year and his first coaching job after college, Coach John Bright sat nervously in the principal's office at Lincoln High School. Dressed in a tan T-shirt and shorts and with a chrome-plated whistle hanging from his neck, he was totally unprepared for this surprise attack from his new principal. The rude comments erupted from Mr. A. H. Rumley, fifty-nine, who was dressed in a pricey suit and peered at John over skinny black reading glasses from behind a large polished hard-rock maple desk.

The handsome young coach was finding out why the students had renamed their principal, adding a p to his last name: Mr. Rumpley. For variety, they also called him Rump Face, or Rump Brain, or Big Rump, or whatever. Rumley's rear was a little oversized for his medium-sized body, but not enough to deserve the titles. The students just like to link his personality with his butt.

Rumley continued griping out the coach, "May I remind you that you were hired to teach kids to play games, not to counsel them? Counseling is out of your league. It's something that licensed professional therapists do. Not you!"

The principal was named after his grandfathers, Alfredo and Henry, one an undertaker and the other a drill sergeant. Someone said that his heritage explained why he was so insensitive and controlling. Right or wrong, politically correct or not, the explanation stuck.

Rumley raged on without giving the coach a chance to explain his side. "Teaching PE does not qualify you to be a counselor," he said hatefully. "I'd advise you to stay out of the personal problems of my students and their families!"

Taking a deep breath and calming down a bit, Rumley continued, "With our head coach out this semester recovering from his car accident, I'm confident that you have more responsibility than you can possibly manage at twenty-three years of age, son, being as young and inexperi-